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{ metropolis devoured }
a tribute to my san francisco


3/4 oz scotch whiskey
3/4 oz local politics
1/4 oz public policy
1/4 oz disaster preparedness
1/2 oz alamo square

Shake over neighborhood dives & venues, strain into a chilled cocktail dress, garnish with a sprig of gov 2.0, and serve.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Things Younger Than McCain

It's no secret that Republican nominee for America's Next Top Chef Commander-in-Chief is older than dirt... but did you know he's older than duct tape? Penicillin? The area code? The polio vaccine? THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE?? You get the idea.

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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Telling you something you already knew...

The increasingly small town of San Francisco (seriously, don't you just feel the borders shrinking every time you run into people you don't particularly want to have run-ins with? I do...) lacks any notable access to actual drunk, blundering celebrity and celebutant messes, so "writers" who would otherwise be moderately successful gossip bloggers in LA and NYC turn their undivided attention to the next best thing we have to offer in terms of people-whose-names-you-might-recognize: people running for, or holding, local office. You know, those guys who have a hard enough time trying to get anything done thanks to financial impediments, the ever present red tape, the bureaucratic tangle? Yea, them. Now they have to watch what they wear, too, lest they be caught looking or acting not at 100% by someone who can't see much further than their own nose.

Newsflash. This isn't Gossip Girl. this is a city facing some tough decisions in the near future.

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Not the last year of the crazy run...

San Francisco used to be a fun town; SFist.com is absolutely right. Then everyone who used to have fun got older, grumpier, and less enchanted with roving groups of drunk glitter-clad disco queens (or leopard-printed kitty cats, or beer pong cups made from red garbage cans, or folks who are just wholesomely and delightfully naked), and decided to take on a personal mission to put an end to all the festivities. In response, I'm going to take on a personal mission of my own to support all such activities and not bitch when my cokehead neighbors blast disco music at 8 in the morning on a Sunday... because it's the Sunday, and they're entitled.

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

We can have the pill for free, and they can't have a teenage crush...

I can never possibly claim to be a member of the PC police, what with my eternal and unstoppable potty mouth in full effect all day, every day, but I do advocate for framing the actions of others in the context of their culture, especially when dealing with a series of conflicts. In that case, loud testimony on the subject of who is right and who is wrong is most often useless; one must ask themselves: What do I hope to accomplish? and What can I stand to give up in compromise? Generally, in order to accomplish a long-term goal, one must give up their short-term preaching.

Our country's (and the West's, in general) constant strife for cultural dominance in the world is not something I always agree with (especially due to the ever-present air of embarrassing disrespect for others), since it leads to the extinction of the kind of diversity that challenges us to re-examine morals and ethics in the first place... but the fact that honor killings are still happening, right under our nose and with our aid, really make me question if cultural extermination is always so inappropriate. I know that's a strong statement coming from someone with my background (please see: Shoah) but in order to appease my slightly wounded feminine sensibilities, it has to be said. The fact that it's 2008 means absolutely nothing.

That said, I am not at all a fan of the way we as a country are going about things right now, so I urge you to not stick that statement in between the lines. I might rewrite this later to include a little more informative content when I'm less pissed, although I don't see how I will be, considering the topic.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

The thin veil of ineptitude will soon be ever so slightly lifted...

Coming in on the heels of San Jose, San Diego and Fremont (the parking lot with a mayor beat us in the tech race, my friends), San Francisco will now be using the technologically-forward and user-friendly site Crime Reports, according to Fog City Journal. This tool is so, so, so long overdue. Can I add a few more "so's" in there? Please let me elaborate. During my City Hall internship my senior year of college, one of my tasks (aside from being on receiving end of many angry phone calls) was to track the efficiency of San Francisco's current crime mapping system by comparing the number of crimes that show up on the map to the number of crimes sent to me by various precinct captains. Over a long period of time, my only conclusion was... wrong, wrong, wrong! In addendum: the script was constantly buggy, and you really can't find a less user-friendly application.

My only problem with Crime Reports is that it STILL doesn't let you export raw data into a file, but at least it'll graph the data for you. I guess this is a heads up to all the future interns who'll be keying in data by hand from the site: Have fun, guys.

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

TasteSpotting, you devil...

This post is strictly for me and my foodie brethren. As I sit on my couch on a less-than-warm Saturday afternoon, watching Iron Chef America and sifting through the recipes on my new favorite website, TasteSpotting, I could find no better way to crawl my way into the weekend.

I've already made two recipes found on this site (the french onion soup and something else - can't remember now) and they were both magnificent. Oh, if only there were more hours in the day to spontaneously play with the contents of my fridge.

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

"Food" and "crime" can only happen on Mission & 23rd...

I can't seem to get past the irony of this (hey, I list puns as a hobby, OK?) so I might as well get it all out because it's not even remotely funny. Two days ago, an armed robber walked into the new Mission restaurant/bar Beretta, held it up, and went on his merry way with a sack of cash bearing dollar signs (probably minus that last part). I sure hope he used a BERETTA, because otherwise this situation is just all wrong.

Well, Beretta happens to be on my social calendar for tonight, since most of my roommate's Bourbon & Branch cohorts have migrated back to the Mission and we dilligently follow the trail of tasty cocktails they leave in their wake. So here's to hoping that lighting doesn't strike the same spot twice.

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