"So I decided to... find out what exactly had transpired in his pants."

This article deserves to be shared widely not only for its sheer brilliance on the topic of ethnicly and culturally relevant medical/mental conditions, but also for its use of the phrase "so I decided to try and find out what exactly had transpired in his pants" in all seriousness. Please proceed to Harpers: "A mind dismembered: In search of the magical penis thieves" by Frank Bures. Yes, penis thieves. And yes, seriously, read it - it's long but entirely worth it.

The thin veil of ineptitude will soon be ever so slightly lifted...

Coming in on the heels of San Jose, San Diego and Fremont (the parking lot with a mayor beat us in the tech race, my friends), San Francisco will now be using the technologically-forward and user-friendly site Crime Reports, according to Fog City Journal. This tool is so, so, so long overdue. Can I add a few more "so's" in there? Please let me elaborate. During my City Hall internship my senior year of college, one of my tasks (aside from being on receiving end of many angry phone calls) was to track the efficiency of San Francisco's current crime mapping system by comparing the number of crimes that show up on the map to the number of crimes sent to me by various precinct captains. Over a long period of time, my only conclusion was... wrong, wrong, wrong! In addendum: the script was constantly buggy, and you really can't find a less user-friendly application.

My only problem with Crime Reports is that it STILL doesn't let you export raw data into a file, but at least it'll graph the data for you. I guess this is a heads up to all the future interns who'll be keying in data by hand from the site: Have fun, guys.

"Food" and "crime" can only happen on Mission & 23rd...

I can't seem to get past the irony of this (hey, I list puns as a hobby, OK?) so I might as well get it all out because it's not even remotely funny. Two days ago, an armed robber walked into the new Mission restaurant/bar Beretta, held it up, and went on his merry way with a sack of cash bearing dollar signs (probably minus that last part). I sure hope he used a BERETTA, because otherwise this situation is just all wrong.

Well, Beretta happens to be on my social calendar for tonight, since most of my roommate's Bourbon & Branch cohorts have migrated back to the Mission and we dilligently follow the trail of tasty cocktails they leave in their wake. So here's to hoping that lighting doesn't strike the same spot twice.

Benazir Bhutto assassinated

This is an irreversible step backwards.

21 June 1953 - 27 December 2007

Bhutto was described to be very personable, and her campaign drew crowds of supporters because she gave them the face time they wanted from a public official. It's very unfortunate that the price she paid for momentarily abandoning the confines of her bomb-proof vehicle in order to interface with her supporters was so steep, especially given the multiple requests for increased security she sent to President Musharraf. Bhutto was well aware of the possibility of an attack - she had been attacked previously by bombers in Karachi - but did not tolerate Musharraf's policies of routinely ignoring her security requests, which amount to a basic intimidation technique.

Nice one, Canada

Canadians always think they're so much better than us. You hear it all the time... "In Canada, blah blah is better." Blah blah social welfare. Blah blah healthcare. Blah blah. You know what, Canada? If a serial killer/pig farmer was found guilty of murdering 26 sex workers in the good old US of A, he would sure as hell not be anticipating parole in 10 years. Pig farmer Willy Pickton (I first heard this report on BBC radio and I could have sworn they kept saying Pigton) would be in the clink for 26 consecutive life sentences, of which he would probably serve all of 2 before his rare breed of hateful humanity and general creepiness would drive a fellow inmate to repeatedly sodomize and give him the "pig" treatment himself. Really, I am all for compassion for people who deserve it... people have turned a 180 in prison and have found ways to become productive members of society again. But this piece of shit neither deserves that opportunity, or would do anything about it.

But in the fair land of Canada, Mr. Pickton the pig farmer will roam again. Having been convicted of the murder of 6 woman, although the remains of 26 (conflicting reports say 27) were found, I'm surprised they didn't build him a new pig farm for his inconvenience and cut him a check for finally putting Canada on the serial crime map.

Although I have to say, coked up and strung out or not, women in general should practice a wee bit more caution when inserting themselves into dubious cicumstances such as, let's say, remotely located wild sex parties held on a pig farm called Piggy Palace. Seriously? Who really thought that an orgy in the middle of nowhere, hosted by a reclusive and balding man described by his neighbors as "slow but not retarded" at best, was going to be a good idea?

Becoming a Democrat(and Save the Castro!)

In order to start the D5 Prog Dems, I had to finally commit to registering as a Democrat. I won't say what I was registered as before, but let's just say it wasn't Green, Socialist, Independent, Republican, or DTS. I had some initial reservations about this from my time combing through the master voter file (MVF) this time last year, pulling out names that match a particular description. For example: under 30, frequent voter, registered Dem. People will assume you'll vote a certain way and start rotating your name from volunteer caller to caller for some campaign or other until you finally answer your phone, frustrated as hell, at which time they will procede to talk to you about a candidate or issue until you're either blue in the face or hang up. (And if you hang up, they'll probably call you again.)

So now I fit a category. Under 30, frequent voter, registered Dem. Fab.

I may as well make use of this now. I joined the Harvey Milk LGBT Dem Club to see how a well-functioning club is run, and since the LGBT community as a whole tends to be in line with progressive beliefs, there'll be a lot of overlapping issues that I need to learn how to process. Alix Rosenthal, who somewhat less than successfully ran for D8 Supe last year, did a very informative presentation on Halloween in the Castro, which in so many words is going to be a total clusterfuck and a hotspot for crime this this month, thanks to SFPD's lack of committment to public safety during this classic event and the City's complete mishandling of the situation. Alix made a couple of excellent points about how the dissolution of city services for the event aren't going to actually discourage the folks from all over the Bay from coming when she said that the city tried to cancel Halloween in the Castro, not realizing that it isn't theirs to cancel.

At a recent police commission hearing, transgender Commission President Theresa Sparks addressed her concerns about the community so close to her heart: "If we're successful in shutting down the Castro, those people are going to go somewhere. How are we going go address 200,000 people spreading throughout the city?" The 200,000 people are being addressed through a $40,000 publicity campaign to discourage locals from attending because they'll have "no fun". David Perry, the communications consultant in charge of the campaign whose list of clients includes many performance arts groups and local flavors, forgets that the forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest... or at least people will seem to think so.

I anticipate that the next time I get around to writing, the entry will be tagged "crime". Not to be a pessimist, but I don't think I'll be down in the Castro this year. I can't imagine better news for drug dealers: a massive public congregation of costumed folks at an event that the police isn't dedicating special monitoring resources to.

The life & times of Chauncey Bailey,or Oakland's N° 72 murder in 2007.

The following isn't exactly a San Francisco event, but it's extremely relevant to our life & times in the Bay Area, and it signals the sign-off of local journalism as we know it... at least when it comes to the big dogs.

Remember when being a local newspaperman was a respectable profession, when notebook in hand he followed his tipsters' leads to dig up a story, sometimes in conflict with the police, always with a tip of his hat to the folks who give him the first heads up? It's possible that this romanticized idea died of old age with black and white movies, and the reality is that journalists who are ambitious enough to investigate any controversial matter are too big of a liability for their publisher, but until not too long ago, somewhere east of the San Francisco Bay, there was a remnant of the journalism of yesterday, a dinosaur still committed to the dignity and integrity of his profession, still pursuing the tough stories buried behind concrete walls and the backrooms of warehouses.

His name was Chauncey Bailey, and after 37 years as an investigative reporter and editor in the rough terrains of Detroit and Oakland, his commitment to his profession left him in a black body bag.

1949 - 2007

The Chauncey Bailey Project (photos, articles, timeline)

Bailey had been looking into the financial nightmare of Oakland's Your Black Muslim Bakery, currently owned by 21-year-old Yusuf Bey IV, then $1.1mil in the hole and publicly linked to a violent, fanatical religious sect. Here is the brief sequence of events that surround his death:

2006, Bailey investigates Your Black Muslim Bakery on its finances (they file Chapter 11) and links to violence in the community; his reports are not published by the Oakland Post due to unconfirmed sources. He resumes his investigation in 2007 with further information from said source.

August 2^nd, 7:30 a.m., Bailey is on his way to the Oakland Post, when he is publicly gunned down by a man in a ski mask on 14th Street near Alice Street. (At this point, the San Francisco Chronicle, all caught up in sensation, is a little slow in catching on to the fact that this is a target killing. The Oakland Tribune has no doubt.)

August 3^rd, starting at 5 a.m., several locations of Your Black Muslim Bakery are raided by Oakland PD, SWAT and bomb squads, who confiscate a number of weapons and make 7 arrests. The shotgun used to murder Bailey is found.

August 4^th, police confirm the identity of Bailey's shooter: Devaughndre Broussard, 19-year-old kid from San Francisco's Western Addition with a once promising future in business. He insists that he killed Bailey because he was upset with the negative press Your Black Muslim Bakery, where he is a handyman, received from the outspoken journalist. There is no official statement at this time on Yusuf Bey IV's involvement.

August 7^th, Bailey's source about the illegal activities of Yusuf Bey's organization, now headed by Yusuf Bey IV, comes forward. Saleem Bey, son-in-law to former Bakery chief operator late Yusuf Bey, was collaborating on the exposé with Bailey and did not think he was in any danger. Says Saleem Bey, "I gave him the stories. I knew everything that was going on. I thought it was dangerous for me, not him....They are out of control, I told Chauncey all about it, about their illegal bankruptcy and plans to liquidate the bakery." (Chron)

Devaughndre Broussard, Bailey's confirmed shooter, is arraigned by the Alameda County Superior Court; refuses a referral to the Public Defender. Who will foot the bill for his private attorney?

Yusuf Bey IV, younger brother Joshua, and associate Tamon Halfin are charged with kidnapping, torture, extortion and various other crimes by the Alameda County Superior Court. Joshua Bey enters a plea of not guilty. Pleas from Yusuf Bey IV and Halfin are expected on Monday when their legal representation is finalized.

August 10^th, Broussard revises his admission to guilt, saying that he was coerced by police into making a confession. Reps from the Oakland Police Department deny the allegation, saying the cofession was obtained in a free and open manner. They also have it on tape.

Your Black Muslim Bakery has been ordered by a federal judge to liquidate its assets.

August 16^th, a second revision to Broussard's original admission of guilt: his attorney claims he was told to take the fall by another individual involved in the bakery, and that the nice young man now feels betrayed and taken adventage of. As to the facts of the case, the attorney says he has not yet had a chance to discuss them with his client. Am I wrong, or would that have been a good start?

October 9^th, the San Francisco Chronicle finally does something besides quote other publications in this gem: an actually comprehensive and well-researched piece on the last 15 years at the bakery, their leadership, and their role in the community, both positive and negative (SF Gate article). The article blames the recent criminal activity of the Bakery on the illegal seizure of the establishment by Yusuf Bey IV, following his father's death, saying that living Bakery leaders did not agree with Yusuf Bey (the convicted child rapist) that it should pass down to his son. Hey, hey, criminal organizations have rights as enterprises too! Well, not in this case, because they didn't file for appropriate status.

October 18^th, the handyman who originally confessed to Bailey's murder, and then withdrew his confession under the guise of duress, entered a "not guilty" plea in court, and will identify another Bakery employee as a potential suspect.